I STAY!
“A story that offers hope in the darkest moments.”
- Annika -
"At bedtime, when the little ones were asleep, the waves lapped against the iron ship, their gentle song slowly lulling me to sleep."
“Tomorrow, everything will be better,” says young Reeza as she listens to the typewriter ticking away. Mamma drinks too much, lost in memories of her childhood aboard the ship. Pappa is sometimes confused and keeps talking about birds and little plants, trying to quiet the turmoil within him. What do you do when you find yourself caught in the chaos between two separated parents?
IK BLIJF! is a moving novel in which past and present intertwine in a cinematic narrative. It follows Reeza as she is forced to grow up caught between fantasy and reality. Amid a whirlwind of fear and loneliness, one dream remains steadfast: to one day shine on the silver screen. But when Mamma becomes seriously ill and Pappa begins to lose his grip on reality, Reeza is faced with a choice no child should ever have to make.
Between worlds
Reeza moves between Mamma’s and Pappa’s worlds, each with its own rules, expectations and realities. What is allowed in one world may be forbidden in the other. As she learns to adapt, she seems to become two different versions of herself. Through shifting perspectives, the novel explores what it means for a child to grow up in the divide between two parents, and how that divide shapes a sense of identity.
The quiet weight
For Reeza, looking after Mamma and Pappa is simply part of life. She doesn’t know any different. But other people see her family differently, with their own opinions about what happens behind closed doors. Caught between caring for her parents and trying to live her own life, Reeza navigates a world in which growing up sometimes means taking on more than a child should.
A world of her own
For Reeza, almost anything can become a game. She talks to objects as if they were alive and finds magic in the most ordinary things. Her imagination takes her to all kinds of places, where fantasy and reality often meet. And one day, she dreams, she will be a star on the silver screen.
Echo
Every family carries stories from one generation to the next. Some are told openly, while others live on in memories, behaviours and the things left unsaid. In I STAY!, the past is never far away. The novel explores how family histories shape the present, how experiences can echo across generations, and how the stories we inherit become part of who we are.
“The story gets under your skin.”
— Saskia -
IK BLIJF! has sparked conversations beyond the world of literature. Through encounters with organisations, researchers and professionals, the novel has contributed to discussions about children growing up in vulnerable family situations, parental mental health, addiction and patterns passed from one generation to the next.
These encounters have included the Trimbos Institute, Naast & Centraal, the Netherlands Youth Institute (NJi), the Youth Research Group at Utrecht University of Applied Sciences (HU), and the advisory board of people with experiential knowledge of Social Sciences at Utrecht University.
The novel has been included in the Trimbos Institute’s KOPP/KOV booklist and reviewed by Naast & Centraal. For me, these encounters demonstrate the value of storytelling in bringing lived experiences into conversations about family, care and the lives of children.
The themes explored in IK BLIJF! also connect to The Experience House, a collaborative art and research project involving Utrecht University, EWUU, IP4H and Armoedecoalitie Utrecht.
Bringing together art, research and lived experience, the project explores how people can gain a deeper understanding of the realities of families living in vulnerable circumstances. It creates space to look beyond assumptions and connect with experiences that are often difficult to put into words.
For me, this is a meaningful continuation of the questions at the heart of IK BLIJF!: how do we understand one another’s lives, and how can personal stories help us see what might otherwise remain hidden?
